Living All Alone

By Beatriz Guerro

I moved to a studio apartment for the first time, and in the words of the late, great Phyllis Hyman “I can’t stand this living all alone!” 

I thought it was going to be fun glamorous moving on my own for the first time for a big girl job, but it wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. 

Some may not think that living on your own is the biggest accomplishment in their life, but it is a  big one. With the economy the way that it is, loans, and the pressure of having a decent paying job, moving on your own is a big deal.

As accomplished as I felt when I got the keys to my first solo apartment, I did not realize how lonely I was going to feel.

I moved an hour and a half away from my family and instead of spending time at the apartment I pay so much for, I would go “home” every weekend.

This is about feeling lonely, anxious and overwhelmed when living by yourself for the first time as a female. It can be hard and scary, which may get in the way of that self-accomplishment feeling.

However, I sought and found some great advice that have helped me get over the unsafe and lonely feeling of living alone.

  • Check the safety of your neighborhood before signing the lease of your apartment.

I must admit, I dropped the ball on that. I was desperate and urgently needed an apartment as I was starting my job soon.

Thankfully, nothing bad has happened to me but a simple Google search could have avoided the feeling of not being secure in your own apartment. 

  • Get things that will make you feel safe.

The first night I stayed at my apartment, a homeless person tried to break into my apartment, and it was the worst experience of my life. The next day I went to get a door stopper, which I got from Walmart. 

I got a taser and a ring camera. Those items, though they are not much, have helped me feel a bit secure. 

My favorite item is the ring camera. I am aware of everything that happens outside my door.

  • Get a pet.

Now I know not everyone has the time and space for a pet, but this is an amazing way to fight loneliness when living on your own. Whether you are a cat or dog person, a pet can really help your mental health. Not only are they great companions, but pets, especially dogs, can also be great to scare away intruders.

  •  Always know where your keys are located, always have them ready when entering or leaving your apartment.

Knowing where your keys are at all times is important. If an emergency arises, knowing where your eyes are can save time in the event you have to leave suddenly. 

Additionally, this theory also works when entering and leaving your apartment. Having your keys ready to go can save you time in the event someone tries to ambush you. 

  • Get a therapist!

Again, living by yourself can be tough and feeling that way is more normal than you think. It is always a good idea to talk to someone about those feelings. Feeling anxious in your apartment 24/7 is no fun, and you may need professional help to work those feelings out. 

Charlotte Pinc

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